Wednesday, January 29, 2020

A Year of Living Painfully

I haven’t written in a while.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I haven’t written for my blog in a while would be way more accurate.  I’ve been reluctant to admit that I’ve been knee deep in a year long project to improve myself in a variety of ways. 

Here’s the deal.  I’ve spent the last year working on myself in a lot of different ways and the end goal was to document my results as I went, good bad or indifferent.  I’ve looked at my health both physically and mentally, my relationships, my career and anything else that could lead a person to be happy or unhappy. It’s been a year of ups and downs.  I’ve accomplished a lot and fell on my face a number of times.  So, you may ask, why am I telling you all of this?

One word.  Accountability.

I have a few constants in my personality, and I’ve found ways to make some of them work to my advantage. For example, I am cheaper than I am lazy.  Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “it seems like your conceding that you’re both cheap and lazy.  How can you make that work for you?”.  I’m glad you asked.  I find that I can sign up for a race, any race, and because I’ve paid the entry fee, I’ve committed myself to the race.  Case in point.  Last year, I was talked into a miserable experience simply called “The Rattler”.  The Rattler is a fifteen-mile race in the hills of Colorado Springs, through snow and mud, because of course there would be snow and mud.  I knew in the days leading up to the race and even day of that the weather was going to be an issue.  That the mud was going to be an issue.  That fifteen miles of running up and down mountains was going to be an issue! But I payed the hundred bucks, so I was committed.  Why?  Because I’m cheaper than I am lazy and letting the entry fee go to waste just isn’t my style. 

So how does that pertain to today’s post.  I’m also prouder than I am lazy.  That means, if I tell my little corner of the world that I have this book writing project that I want to get myself through, then pure embarrassment will get me to put pen to paper, or finger to keypad as it were. 

I’ll say, if you are inclined to read the book when finished, that it isn’t all wins. It isn’t all losses either, but it’s certainly not a Tom Brady style victory lap. It was a struggle.  It was a struggle on day one and on day 365.  Hell, it all started with the struggle of looking in the mirror a year ago October and not liking the person looking back.

It’ll be funny and poignant and hopefully motivational to people who the years have flown by unmonitored for a bit too long. 

The lesson here girlies?  We’ll see on this one.  Perhaps the lesson is that you need to find ways to motivate yourself when motivation is hard to come by.  Maybe it’s the opposite, that I should be finding motivation intrinsically.  Maybe its that peer pressure is the best pressure.  Scratch that last one.  Maybe it’s just to point out that a year of hard work is a year of hard work.  Regardless of the lesson, here is what’s next.  I’ll get it written and good lord willing I’ll get it published. 

In the meantime, you aren’t going to like this year quite as much.  This year the focus is on…..drumroll please… guys, but that’s next year’s book.