Girlies

Girlies

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Rabid, Slipper Wearing Wolves Suck and We Know It!


It has been my intention, for the most part, to keep this blog a politic free zone.  I have dabbled occasionally in reacting to political situations but I genuinely try my best to steer free as best possible.  The point of the blog, at its core, is to give my daughters a few tips on avoiding some of life’s potholes and maybe offer a laugh or two.  Today I am venturing into the world of politics a touch but hopefully I will still keep it light enough not to elicit a bevy of angry responses.  If you do find your blood starting to boil, at least stick with me ‘til the end as I tend to live in the grey areas, as I think that 90% of us do. 

Alright, disclaimers done.  So let’s say for a moment that a city institutes a law that says that you can buy whatever type of dog you like.  Dogs serve some essential functions and the city says, “you know what, dogs are great, everyone should have one.  You can have a poodle, or a corgi or a pug or whatever you want.”

People start buying dogs at an unprecedented rate.  Literally a dog for every man, woman and child.  Half of the dogs in the state live in this fair city.  People buy the pets for a variety of reasons.  They buy big dogs, small dogs, labs for around the house, foxhounds for hunting and bulldogs just because.  There are more masculine dogs, more feminine dogs, designer dogs and dogs that fit in a purse. 

I bought a dog myself.  When we decided on him we put function before form.  He’s mean looking and loud.  Absolutely terrifying to anyone who would try to enter my home without permission.  A perfect home protection dog. 

Most people would agree that the system was working great.  There were occasional complaints about people having Dobermans or Rottweilers, but for the most part, the city was happy.

But then, as people always do, they had to push the proverbial envelope.  They said things like, “the dog law says I can have whatever kind of dog I want.  Dog means canine and a coyote is certainly a canine.”

Now everyone in their gut knows full well that no one who started the law meant for people to own a coyote buuuut, as people do, they looked out for themselves.  Doberman owners and Rottweiler owners were afraid that if the coyotes went, their dogs were next.  So, they agreed with the coyote owners. 

Sure, there were incidents with the coyotes but everyone agreed that was the price of dog ownership, and the city moved along. 

It was going along for a while until a small group of dog enthusiasts insisted on owning wolves.  You see, dogs are canines and wolves are canines so clearly, they should be included under the dog law.  The creators of the dog law must have seen wolves coming and accommodated for them. 

Sure, there were incidents with the wolves but everyone agreed that was the price of dog ownership, and the city moved along. 

It was going along for a while until a small group of dog enthusiasts insisted on modifying their wolves.  You see, dogs are canines and wolves are canines and modified canines are still canines so clearly, they should be included under the dog law. 

The owners gave their wolves little slippers so no one could hear them coming and then gave them rabies and shock collars to ensure maximum efficiency.

It went along for a while, but not as long this time.  The wolf owners, for the most part, kept their rabid, slipper wearing wolves locked up but a few owners wanted to see exactly what their super wolves could do.  One got into a school another got into a bar and a few even got into a concert. 

At that point the other dog owners, for the most part, said, “okay, seriously, the dog law wasn’t meant for crazy slipper wearing rabid wolves, just dogs.  Let’s get rid of the wolves.” 

“Not so fast” said the city’s wolf and coyote breeders.  “The law wasn’t’ specific enough to get rid of them besides, cats and hampsters could have done the exact same thing!”

And the well paid city council agreed, despite the people, for the most part, thinking rabid wolves with slippers is a terrible idea. 

The point girls?  Clearly it isn’t about wolves.  It’s about common sense.  It’s about caring more about your fellow man than yourself.  Just because you can own a rabid, slipper wearing wolf doesn’t mean you should. 

Avery, I hated you asking about what happened in Las Vegas and asking if grandma was okay (she was).  I hated trying to explain to you what that person did and trying to come up with some reason why they would do it.  There isn't a reason, at least not one that matters.  I guess the reason I broke my no politics policy was you, sweetheart.  I don't want you to know now how serious the wolves are but some day you may want to know where I stand.

At the end of the day, I’m not anti-dog, I’m just anti slipper wearing super wolves.  Unfortunately for me, the dog law and the coyote breeders seem to always win the day.  I guess the outward message is that there is probably middle ground.  Some people think the dog law is great, others think dogs think that dogs should be gotten rid of all together.  Myself, I believe responsible dog ownership is fine, but part of being a responsible dog owner is knowing that super wolves are a bad idea and if you are someone who owns a wolf or a coyote, don’t believe for a moment that I feel safer when I see you trot that thing into a Target.  I trust, in my heart of hearts, that if I’m going to be mauled, it will be by someone who considers themselves a responsible wolf owner.